Mockingjay: Leviathan Style
by Chocoholic with a Pen
Summary: Alek has escaped the haunting War Games. Everything seems to go right until Deryn is left behind in the hands of the Capitol. Alek starts to lose his mind without her around. Will she be the same when they rescue her? Rated T just in case! COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**All right, here is my first real story. So please just bear with me. If you see something that looks wrong just tell me. Not sure how many chapters there will be but I will somewhat make it up as I go along. Please ENJOY!**

**~Z**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hunger Games or Leviathan. I wish I did like so many other people…**

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We barely made it out of the War Games arena. The terrible, bloodthirsty and cruel games that we were forced to compete in. Everyone from the ages of 12 to 18 were to be assessed. They picked the two strongest opponents from each district. One boy and one girl and forced them to fight to the death.

I was picked this year. I didn't want to but no one ever does. I managed to survive but my teammate wasn't as fortunate. She was beheaded in front of me. Many of the others were killed by the arena or by each other. There are only 5 survivors out of the 24 total.

It was when we were training that I met Deryn. She was at the knife throwing station. We became good friends. And soon I fell for her. I made a deal with Volger to make sure she would stay alive. What I didn't know at the time was that Deryn made a deal with her mentor to get me out alive.

They only managed to save me, Newkirk and Lilit. Deryn and Fitzroy were left behind in the clutches of the Capitol. I remember her face as the Capitol guards surrounded her. I tried reaching out to her but it was too late. She was gone.

Here in the hovercraft three soldiers are holding me down as I try to escape.

"Deryn!" I yell out. I kick and thrash for the soldiers to let me go. I need to save her. I promised her that I would protect her no matter what. This isn't part of my plan.

"We cannot go back for her I'm afraid." I look to see who is talking. I narrow my eyes at him. We made a deal to get her out safely. I clench my jaw and lunge for him.

"Volger! We need to save her! She's in danger!" I shout at him. Four more guards pull me away from him. I keep my eyes trained on him as he stands up.

"Please calm down Alek. We did our best." he says irritably calm.

I try to get as close to him as possible. It starts in a whisper and grows louder. "Your best? Your best? It if was your best then we would all have gotten out alive!" I yell. He punches me squarely in the jaw.

I go hysterical. I feel a needle enter my arm and inject a liquid into my bloodstream.

I black out.

I see her face. I held her in my arms and I promised her that we would make it out alive.

"Promise me Alek. Promise me that this will all end." Deryn said. We stared at each other. She was a few inches taller than me but I didn't mind.

"I promise." I told her. I remember her short golden hair and her mesmerizing blue eyes.

I kissed her one last time.

I wake up and see an annoyingly bright white ceiling. I sit up. My head still hurts from where Fitzroy tried to bash my head in with a club.

I look around the room. Newkirk is asleep on the hospital bed next to me. Half of his face is bandaged from the slash Fitzroy gave him.

I search for Lilit. She is across the room asleep as well. Her arm and neck are bandaged and I see her trembling.

I look at the bracelet on my wrist. It says that I'm _Mentally Disoriented._ I guess that's true. I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind knowing that Deryn is in danger. I should have saved her. I know she can take care of herself but I can't even begin to imagine what they are doing to her.

Someone opens the door. I freeze in place. I see Mr. Rigby walk towards me. I relax myself. He was Deryn's and Newkirk's mentor for the games.

"I see you've woken up Alek." he says as he sits in the chair next to my bed.

I don't say anything. I just stare at him.

"I know you're upset but-"

"I'm more than upset," I say. Mr. Rigby clears his throat. "How can you live with yourself knowing that the Capitol has her?" I hiss at him.

Mr. Rigby remains calm. "We understand the severity of the situation. We are working on locating Deryn and Fitzroy. They will be out as soon as possible. Just stay calm."

I take a deep breath. "Fine," I mutter.

I see Newkirk stirring. He opens his one good eye. He looks around nervously until he sees me and Mr. Rigby. Lilit is sitting up looking around the room.

"Now that you are all awake President Hobbes wishes to speak to you three." Mr. Rigby says. We throw each other worried looks.

Mr. Rigby leads us to the Command center. I see people walk past us, all wearing identical gray outfits. Not a smile on their faces. Everyone who walks past us looks like the life has been sucked out of them. I take in my surroundings. The walls, ceiling and floor are all white. Almost like we're in a long box.

"Where are we?" I whisper to myself.

We arrive to a big room where computers cover the walls. They all have different images. Some show the different districts. I see District 1, where I'm from. People have begun to rebel against the Capitol because of the stunt I pulled in the arena.

In the middle of the room is a long silver table with seats along the sides. Mr. Rigby tells us to sit down. I sit between Newkirk and Lilit. Both of which seem uneasy about this strange place we are in.

President Hobbes appears and stands at the head of the table.

"Hello Victors. You may be wondering why I have summoned you all here." he says.

As if in unison, all three of us blink at him.

"You are in District 13. We are the rebels. We will not hurt you. We want to eliminate President Telsa. We rescued you from the arena to help us." he says trying to get our trust.

"Help you?" Lilit asks. I know she is nervous but she is trying to act confident. She always was.

"Yes we need to show the Capitol that they no longer control us and that we can end the War Games together."

"What do we need to do?" I ask.

President Hobbes just smiles. "We need you three to be the face of the Rebellion."

Newkirk and Lilit look at me to see my reaction.

I only sit motionless in my chair.

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**A/N: So? What did you think? I will have the next chapter up by Thursday so don't worry. Tell me if I should change something, suggestions if I am getting the characters somewhat right.**

**Inspiration for this story you ask? Well I was just sitting alone thinking. What would happen if the Capitol took Deryn made her want to kill Alek? Well I wanted it be Alek who would try to kill Deryn but I like this way better. **

**Please review or comment. And maybe just maybe I won't have kill a certain someone… :) *maniacal laughter***

**See you all on Thursday!**

**~Z**


	2. Chapter 2

**HELLO PEOPLE OF FANFICTION! Okay I have chapter 2 waiting below. I am thinking of posting a new chapter every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until I finish. What do you all think about that? Well I can't see your expression or hear you so I will take it as happy. Now enough of my rambling time for Chapter 2!**

**~Z**

**Disclaimer: Leviathan is not mine and Hunger Games is not mine…**

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"Will you help us Alek?" Mr. Rigby asks. He and President Hobbes are waiting for my reply. I don't say anything for a few minutes.

"No," I say simply. I can see Newkirk and Lilit shake their heads in disappointment. They are all set to do this and they clearly want me to do it too.

"We will take care of everything; all you need to do is stand in front of the camera-" Mr. Rigby starts to say.

I interrupt him. "No, I will not be your puppet. I don't see how shooting a few videos and parading in costumes will show the Capitol that we no longer want to be under their control." I say. I don't want to just be a figure head. I want to actually change the state of Panem. And I can see that these people won't help me. I stand up sending my chair to the floor. I start my way to the door.

"The districts need hope." Hobbes says.

I stop with my hand on the handle. I turn around and look at him. I raise an eyebrow for him to continue.

"The districts need to know that their victors are going to be there. We need to show them that you are on their side. As long as you are all alive you pose a threat to President Telsa and the Capitol." The three of us are still recovering so this is a lot for us to take in.

I sigh, pick up my chair and sit down. I gesture for Hobbes to continue.

"The reason for the War Games is not about the treaty. It is to eliminate all the strong willed people. That is why they chose you. You are all intelligent, brave and strong. And that is exactly what Telsa fears most." Mr. Rigby says.

No wonder why all the rebellious free spirited people were chosen. That's why Deryn was chosen. It wasn't because of how well she could throw a knife or how well she could tie a perfect knot. It was because she wasn't afraid to challenge society. She wasn't afraid to stand up for people. He wants to get rid of anyone who can overthrow him.

"So basically Telsa wants to kill off all the people who threaten him?" Newkirk says.

"Precisely," Hobbes and Mr. Rigby say.

"So is this all then?" Lilit says obviously bored now.

"Yes, welcome to District 13." Hobbes says.

We go back to our hospital room. As soon as I open the door my younger adopted brother, Bovril has me trapped in a hug. It takes me a moment to register what is happening but then I hug him back. I thought I would never see him again.

"Alek, it's so good to see you again!" Bovril smiles at me. He looks so much older than 12. He's grown up so much without me around.

I remember the day we brought him home. He was only five years old and I was nine at the time. He was an orphan and my parents took him in. They said he was from District 12. He lived in a place called the Seam. He was terrified when he arrived. He didn't know what to expect. I treated him like the younger brother I never had. But now that my parents are gone I only have Bovril left.

"I missed you two Bovril." I dig my face in his brown hair. He smiles up at me with his big brown eyes.

President Hobbes has assigned the four of us an apartment. We arrive to room 409. I open the door. The room is big enough for us. The walls are a pale shade of gray. The floor is made up of white tiles with a small circular rug in the middle. The bathroom is in the corner of the room. This room matches the rest of District 13. It's cold, colorless and drained of any emotion.

There are three sets of clothes on one of the two beds. The outfits are gray with a long sleeve shirt, a white undershirt, a pair of gray pants, white socks and black shoes. The three of us change into our clothes. Bovril already has his issued uniform.

Lilit is completely unfazed when we change in front of her. She claims she likes girls and has no interest in us. We insist she changes in the bathroom. She says she will share a bed with Newkirk.

"I'll sleep on the ground thank you." Newkirk says his face is deep red.

Lilit doesn't seem to notice. "All right suit yourself." she shrugs.

"We need to get out schedules." Bovril says as he walks to a device in the wall that I didn't notice before. "Medic Bovril," he says as he puts the underside of his arm in the device. A lot of clicks happen. He takes his arm out a minute later.

I go to the device. "Victor Alek," I put my arm in the machine. It writes down a schedule in blue ink. I take my arm out and stare at the writing. Lilit and Newkirk proceed to get their schedules.

_7:00- Breakfast._ Guess we missed breakfast and a bunch of other things. I look at the clock. It's 11:00. I look back at my arm. It's time for Therapy.

Bovril takes us to a room in the Hospital Ward which is where our therapy session will be held. He opens the door for us.

"I need to go. They need me in one of the hospital rooms. I will see you three again at lunch." Bovril says. He hugs me and leaves.

Together we venture into the strange room. None of us know what to expect. For all we know they could be experimenting on us. That's bit drastic but it's good to keep options open. There are four seats in front of us. We sit down carefully. All of us are uneasy about what is going to happen.

We have all grown a bit paranoid since we got out of the games. We almost expect to someone to jump out and hurt us. We almost expect a canon to go off signaling someone's death. Almost every small sound makes me tense up. Things always look so suspicious now. It's like there is no one to trust.

Another door opens. We all tense up. A woman walks in our direction and sits across from us. We all relax. She consults her clipboard for a minute or so then looks at us.

"I am Dr. Barlow. I am not going to keep reminding you that this is a safe environment. You all know that already. But I am here to help with your psychological problems." she says.

"What problems?" Newkirk asks.

"She means our nightmares, flashbacks etcetera from the games." Lilit whispers to him. I grip the bottom of my seat until I feel my knuckles turn white. She wants us to talk about the horrifying games that keep us awake at night and haunt our daydreams? The very things that I wished I never lived through? Tell her the things that I never any other child to experience?

"Shall we begin?" Dr. Barlow asks. Newkirk and Lilit nod. I feel three sets of eyes on me. I look up not even realizing that I was staring at the floor.

I take a deep breath and look at Dr. Barlow. Am I really ready to tell her the horrific event?

"Let's begin." I finally say.

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**A/N: And there it is. Hope you all liked it. So review, comment or PM me if you have suggestions/concerns. I always welcome any criticism with an open heart. I will not be sad or mad if you criticize this story. I would just like to know if things are going right. So please tell me how I am doing. I will see you on all Monday!**

**~Z**


	3. Chapter 3

**AHH! I couldn't wait I just had to get this chapter up, so chapter 3 is waiting below! I didn't really have anything else to do so I figured why not write the new chapter? I had half of it written down in my Story Journal but I thought hey why not wing it? So please bear with me if things go off track. Anyways enjoy and REVIEW or COMMENT!**

**~Z**

**Disclaimer: I know that Leviathan and Hunger Games are not mine! Do you really have to rub it in my face...?**

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We have Therapy three times a week for two hours with Dr. Barlow. Basically we just discuss the games. At first it was hard but as time went by things got easier. We learn things about each other that we never knew.

For example, Lilit was a big rebel and troublemaker back home. She's from District 11. It's the district with the most people living in it. Her family made a living working on the fields. She said she always hated it. She got in trouble with the Peacekeepers a lot. Pulling pranks, sending them on wild goose chases you name and Lilit had done it. She was given the option to volunteer for the games or she was to be sent to a high level security prison in the Capitol.

Now Newkirk was a different story. He knew Deryn since they were little kids. They used to hunt back home in District 10. They didn't always have enough food so they both had to provide for their families even though hunting was illegal. Deryn got caught once and Newkirk put all the blame on himself. He was almost whipped to death. Newkirk was forced to volunteer since his family needed food. Deryn was chosen to compete against her will.

After Therapy we have lunch. I could practically hear my stomach rumbling as we walked down to the cafeteria. The doors open and suddenly I was hit by the smell of food. There are so many people here. Some are citizens of thirteen and others are refugees. The three of us sit at a table reserved for us. Not because we are Victors. But as in every apartment has a table.

Everyone is given different portions of food according to age height, weight, nutrition needs and so on. We all have a very big portion of some sort of slop in front of us. I poke the slop. It's soft. I pick up a spoonful and bring it to my nose. It smells somewhat normal. I go ahead and eat the substance. It actually doesn't taste bad.

Bovril comes bouncing in with his own tray of food. He sits across from us and next to Newkirk. I notice that Newkirk and Lilit have started to eat their food as well.

"So how are you three adjusting to District 13?" he asks. I shrug. I don't really like it here to be honest but we can't go back with the uprisings and all. And besides I wouldn't want to live in the Victor's Village. I just want to go back home with Bovril and have everything the way it was before the games.

I see someone across the room. The person is tall with golden hair, the same golden hair as Deryn. It can't be her. She's in the Capitol. Then the person turns around. It's not Deryn. My heart instantly drops into my stomach. It's Deryn's older brother Jaspert. He sits down at a table with three older women. I should go over there. Talk to him.

A slap to the back of the head from Lilit brings my attention back to the table. I rub the spot. Lilit has a pretty strong arm even if she is recovering.

"Watch it my head is still in pain." I say to her. Lilit gets ready to say something witty but Newkirk cuts her off.

"Stop whining, you're not the one who almost got cut open." he says. His bandage is off and now I can see the damage. It's a big thick scar stretching from his left eyebrow down to his chin. It's pretty gruesome once you get past the fact that it's a perfect curved line. Fitzroy actually made a really good slash. I still hate him though.

I look at my arm. _1:30- Command Room. _I wonder why we have to go back there again.

"Do you guys have the Command Room scheduled next?" I ask. Bovril shakes his head. Lilit nods and Newkirk shows me his arm. "Okay," I finish eating my slop; Lilit and Newkirk join me to the area where we drop off our trays. We head down the hall to the Command Room.

I open the door. There are a lot of people here. They were probably waiting for us. Then in the corner of the room I see my stylist team made up of Klopp, Bauer and Hoffman. The three of us sit in the three chairs left. President Hobbes appears and stands on a platform that I didn't notice was there.

"The Victors have decided to help us. We will start shooting Propos as soon as possible. Eddie Malone will be in charge of cameras and the script and Adela Rogers will produce and get everything on schedule. We also have one of the remaining groups of stylists from the Capitol." Hobbes says. I look at the people he named. Eddie is fidgeting with his camera. Adela has her face buried in a clipboard writing things down furiously. And my stylist team is looking around at everything.

Mr. Rigby and Volger are sitting away from us muttering to each other. I haven't seen Volger since I attacked him on the hovercraft. I hate him. I truly and utterly hate him. I never did trust him. That was how he won the War Games when he competed. He manipulated the others and pinned them against each other with their own secrets. I clench my fists until I feel my nails digging into my palm. I don't care about the pain at the moment.

I wasn't paying attention to what he has been saying. All I heard was "shoot" and "need perfect lighting" after that I was plain old confused. I notice Volger looking my way. I narrow my eyes at him wishing I could just punch him. But I can't since there are too many people, I will get in deep trouble and he will most likely hurt me much more. I lay hands flat on the table and try to listen to what Hobbes is saying.

"The Capitol has aired a new special. We will watch it to see what is happening over there." he says as he turns on the biggest monitor. At first the screen is pitch black but then the Capitol seal zooms in and the anthem starts playing. I look down at the table. I don't want to watch this.

I hear Caesar's voice. "Hello people of the Capitol. You may be wondering why we have aired this occasion. Well we have the chance to interview one of the Victors." My ears perk a bit but I don't look up. I focus on the silver table in front of me.

"First up is the heartthrob from District 2, Victor Fitzroy!" he says. I hear the crowd cheer and some women gasp and scream from the crowd. It's very irritating and shrill.

I don't try to listen to the interview. Why should I? He tried to kill me on more than several occasions. I don't even know why we let him live. I should have killed him when I had the chance. He was the one who beheaded Alix, the other tribute from my district. We were the ones who pulled the stunt that angered Telsa and the game makers.

We thought about disabling the force field around the arena to escape. We found the chink and I aimed my spear at it. The cameras went off, everything went off and everything was peaceful for about 20 minutes. Then everything came online and the game makers were furious. They chased everyone to the middle of the arena using fire. A mass battle broke out. I got alive but Alix wasn't so lucky. Fitzroy beheaded her. All I remember is her head rolling towards me. Her golden eyes were still open and her dark brown hair was matted with blood.

I didn't even notice that Fitzroy interview was done. Caesar starts talking again about something idiotic. "Now let's hear it for the dangerous little lady from District 10, Victor Deryn!" I instantly look up and see Deryn sitting across from Caesar. I run out of my seat and stand right into front of the screen.

She is wearing a dress and she has make-up on. From what Newkirk has told me, she doesn't like wearing anything like that. Her face is still beautiful. I lay my hand on the screen almost hoping I could reach out to her. She doesn't look harmed in any way. In fact she looks bored and wishing she were somewhere else.

"Tell us Deryn, how are you?" Caesar asks her.

Deryn just blinks at him drums her fingers on the arm of the chair. "Bored as ever. This place is too fluffy and girly. I want out." she says. There is no doubt that this is Deryn.

"Really? I wouldn't leave. Anyways tell us about the games." he says.

Deryn leans closer to him. It looks like she wants to claw his throat out. "I can't just tell you about the games. It is something you wished you never experience again. And I don't want another child to go through what I went through." she hisses at him. Caesar gently pushes her away. She flops into her seat.

"Interesting." he says. The crowd is murmuring. Deryn looks out into the audience and sticks her tongue out. She clearly wants to anger them.

"May I go home now so that I can stare the wall for countless hours?" she asks.

"Certainly." he says. "That is the end of the interviews. We will see you all soon and may the odds be ever in your favor." he says just before the screen goes black and the seal appears with the anthem playing.

I stare at the black screen. Deryn is okay. At least she looks okay and that is enough for me at the moment. I turn around and see that everyone is watching what I will do next. I look around the room. Newkirk and Lilit look as surprised as me right now.

I go back to my seat and sit down. Deryn is safe. Strangely I don't feel comfortable with that statement.

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**A/N: Okay so there it is. It's a bit longer and for some reason I always feel like I'm typing a lot but then when I upload, it looks small. Well I hope you liked it. Please Review or Comment. They are always appreciated. So see you all on Monday for real this time!**

**~Z**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello people of Fanfiction! How are you all today? Fine I presume. So I have the esteemed chapter 4 waiting below. I'm a bit hurt by how some people haven't read this story as much but then again it is a crossover. So I will just keep writing!**

**~Z**

**Disclaimer: Leviathan and Hunger Games are works of art that are sadly not mine…**

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Most of these days have almost been sort like routine. We get up and get our schedules. Go to breakfast. Go to kitchen duty. Go to the education room. Go to Therapy. Go to Lunch. Head to the Command Room. Shoot the Propos as President Hobbes likes to call them. Go to Reflection which is basically a half hour to ourselves before dinner. Head to Dinner. Then we go back to our rooms and bathe. Then it's usually lights out unless we have a nightshift which neither of us has.

I look at the food in front of me. It looks like toast, eggs and a meat of some sort. I eat the toast and the eggs but I leave the meat for last. Newkirk and Lilit have finished already. We have only been here a few days now and they are adjusting fine. But I just can't seem to stop worrying. My mind keeps drifting back to Deryn. When I saw her she looked safe but somehow I don't believe that. She may look fine but she may be emotionally damaged like the rest of us. Fitzroy on the other hand well I could care less about him.

"So how is everyone today?" Dr. Barlow asks. We are all sitting in our seats for Therapy.

"Fine," Lilit says.

"Eh," Newkirk says.

"All right," I say.

"Anything you want to discuss? Alek you can start." Dr. Barlow says.

I clench my hands together in my lap. I don't know what I should talk about. Then it hits me. "I want to talk about Deryn." I finally say.

"What about Deryn?" she asks.

"I don't feel comfortable with her state. I don't know if she is being tortured or if she is going to be sentenced to death. I just don't know."

"Alek its fine we're worried about her too." says Newkirk as he pats my shoulder. Lilit just squeezes my arm in a friendly gesture.

"We are doing the best we can to try to locate Deryn and Fitzroy but it's just not that simple. It might take months to organize-" Dr. Barlow says.

I stand up. "Months? Are you kidding me? We wouldn't have to wait months if we got her out instead of me!" I storm out of the room. I can hear them yelling after me to come back. I walk through the maze of hallways until I find an abandoned supply closet. I sit the dark space and close the door wishing I could shut the world out too.

It could take months until I see her again. It could take a year. I can't and I won't wait that long. But after she comes back what will happen? Will she be the same Deryn I met in the War Games? Will she still feel the same way about me? Will she hate me because I couldn't save her? Will she even be alive when they find her? I try not to think about these things but they keep invading my mind. I need Deryn. I just need her here with me so that I know that she is safe.

I ignore my schedule and just stay here in the supply closet. My stomach starts to growl and I look at my arm. It's time for Lunch. I head to the cafeteria and get my food which looks a bit more appetizing than this morning. Bovril, Lilit and Newkirk are already sitting at the table eating. I sit next to Bovril.

Lilit punches me in the arm. Rather hard too. "What was that for?" I ask rubbing the spot where she hit me.

"That was for walking out on us. We didn't know where you went and we got worried." she says.

"Seriously Alek you can't just leave and go MIA for 2 hours." Newkirk says.

I eat some of the food to quiet down my stomach. "I'm sorry I just needed some time to myself to think."

"Just give us a fair warning before you pull something like that again." Lilit says. I nod. She punches me in the arm again. I almost drop my glass.

"I said I was sorry!" I exclaim.

"I know I just like hitting you." she says with a smile. I rub the spot and keep eating my lunch.

"All right Alek, Lilit and Newkirk please go with the stylists to get ready!" Adela shouts at us. We are in a filming studio that I never knew existed before today. The three of us are rushed to a bathroom to get us to Beauty Base Zero. I very much hate Beauty Base Zero. Since there are three of us and three stylists we all have our own stylist. I have Klopp, Lilit has Bauer and Newkirk has Hoffman.

I see Hoffman is having some trouble trying to figure out what to do about Newkirk's grotesque scar. Lilit is easier to work with since she is pretty but she will try to bite if you touch her hair. That's something I should have warned Bauer about. I have already showered and Klopp has already managed to make me glow. I stare at the mirror in front of me. My auburn hair doesn't like to stay back one curl always manages to escape. My green eyes seem too bright.

"What am I going to do about this hair? It never stays in place no matter what I do to it. I absolutely love the color but it is such a hassle!" he says as he tries to get my hair to stay out of my face. My rest my elbow on the arm of the chair and lay my head in my palm. This is going to be a long day.

Then Klopp leaves and comes back with a rack of clothes. He takes out one outfit and lays it on the chair next to me. I touch the outfit. It's black with tints of gold. The fabric is soft to the touch but it feels strong. I know that Klopp designed this. Bauer and Hoffman must have created the other outfits to match this one.

"Well stop staring at it and put it on!" Klopp says. I stand up in change into the suit. It looks like there is a lot of armor on it. I almost expect it to be heavy on me but it's very light like air. The sleeves go down to my wrists in layers. The suit feels weird but I like it. Klopp then appears with something in his hand. I instantly know what it is. It's the pin my father gave me when I was little. It has the imperial eagle with two heads on the inside of it. Klopp places the pin over my heart.

"Thank you," I say to him.

"You're very welcome Alek. Now let's go outside so that you can see your friends." he says as he takes my arm and leads me to the door.

Lilit and Newkirk are sitting in chairs in outfits that almost resemble mine. Lilit has her wild hair arranged in a braid that is on the side of her head and they have managed to apply make-up to her. Newkirk has his hair combed back but his scar is still there. Hoffman probably gave up on it and just left it. In a way it kind of makes him look tough. Well sort of.

"Everyone, get in your places!" Adela yells. The three of us are pushed into the middle of the set. Smoke lingers at our feet and things go quiet. None of us know what to do. Then someone appears with big cards next to Eddie. Looks like Newkirk is talking first.

"Ladies and Gentleman, we are alive and well here in District 13." he says.

"We are part of the rebellion and want to know if you are willing to help us defeat the Capitol." Lilit says confidently.

Now it's my turn. I open my mouth to speak but the words stop in my throat. I clear my throat and try to speak. Nothing comes out. I see Adela making gestures for me to go on. But I can't. I don't want to read the words of someone else. I want to say the things that are in my head.

"I am not just going to stand here and read lines. I want to be able to assure you all that I am here to defeat Telsa and end the War Games. I don't want to just be a pretty face I want to fight and help everyone. I just need your trust." I say. Everything has gone quiet. Lilit and Newkirk are dumfounded. Everyone is looking at me to see what I will say next.

"Cut!" Adela says. The lights turn back on and the smoke disappears. People are telling me that I did a nice good and that it was great.

Then I hear slow and loud clapping. I turn to the sound. Volger is standing there with a wicked smile. I use all my will power to not go and claw his eyes out. I stand still and just look at him.

"Good job Alek but I would have expected more from you." he says.

I don't say anything to him. I refuse to talk to him.

"Oh come now stop being childish." he says.

I ignore him and go to change out of this suit and into my normal clothes. I ignore Volger as he tries to talk to me as I walk away from the studio. I ignore my schedule for the rest of the day. I ignore the people who keep asking me where I should be. I don't listen to them I just keep walking. I don't want to talk into Volger or anyone else. I want to be by myself and just think.

Deryn will probably see that video when it airs. I doubt it though. They probably don't let her watch anything unless it is from the Capitol. If they let her watch the Propos she could try to rebel against the guards and escape. They would probably catch her and torture her. I hold my head with my palms. I need these thoughts to stop coming to my head.

I lean against the wall and close my eyes.

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**A/N: Well I hope you did like it. It's a bit longer but not much. I will most likely type up chapter 5 tomorrow. So watch for chapter 5 on Wednesday.**

**REVIEW/COMMENT PLEASE!**

**~Z**


	5. Chapter 5

**A big thank you to everyone who has read. Too bad that they aren't many reviews. *sad face* doesn't matter because I have chapter 5 waiting for you. And I apologize for not updating for a week. Things have been crazy. So I will give you 2 chapters at once. What is the catch you say? No catch I just think you all deserve these chapters because I made you wait. So I will make these chapters longer too. Now please read on!**

**~Z**

**Disclaimer: I am not Scott Westerfeld or Suzanne Collins... Yes I know... Sad day for me... And everyone else who has to admit this...**

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The days go on and each day it feels like I'm slowly losing my mind more and more. Newkirk and Lilit don't seem to understand anything that is going on with me. Dr. Barlow finds it best that skip Therapy and go back to the apartment to think to myself. Volger continues to bother me and most days I try to strangle or maim him. I don't even fight with the guards anymore. President Hobbes and Mr. Rigby just leave me alone. Eddie and Adela don't question my actions when I leave during the middle of shooting. Klopp, Bauer and Hoffman don't ask questions. Some days I even tell Bovril to leave me alone.

Everyone seems to be so organized and put together here in District 13. The people walk to their appropriate places and behave. Even the little children behave and do what they are told. Everyone has their own schedules and they follow it with punctuality. I ignore the schedule half of the time and just find a closet and stay there until Lunch or Dinner. No one tells me that I need to stick to my schedule. The guards don't try to stop me when I leave places early or when I wander. Technically I'm still _Mentally Disoriented._ This plastic bracelet gives me an excuse to wander around District 13 without consequences.

I usually hear people whisper about me when I walk past them. _He really must be losing his mind. _They say. Or _Poor Alek. It must be so hard for him._ And my favorite: _Why didn't they save that Deryn girl instead? She would have been a much better rebel. _I don't talk back to them because I agree with these things. If they did save Deryn instead of me this Rebellion would have been a much better success. I'm too soft and polished. Deryn is rigid and rough. She could make you join her with only a few words. She is confident and determined. She can lead an army into battle. She is someone who people look up to. Mostly she wasn't afraid to challenge Telsa. And I admired her for that.

I lie on my bed and stare up at the cold, gray ceiling. There are a few cracks here and there. I try to make pictures out of them. I see a tree, a bird, and her face. It seems like I see her face everywhere. Everywhere I go I see her golden hair but I know she isn't really there. Sometimes when I look into mirrors it's almost like I can see her blue eyes looking back at me. At night it's like I can hear her snoring beside me but I know that isn't possible. When I walk through the halls I almost keep expecting her to jump out and tackle me. Even at lunch I almost expect to see her walk in and sit next to me. I wait and wait but it never happens. I almost keep wondering if this is something that the Capitol is causing but I know deep in my heart that I'm only imagining all of this. I want to believe that she is here but no matter how many times I tell myself that; it isn't true.

I look at my arm. Reflection will be in about half an hour. That means Bovril, Lilit and Newkirk will be here. I sit up and stretch. I run my finger through my hair. I should really stop thinking about these things. I have to. It's not healthy to be thinking like this. I go to the bathroom and splash my face with cold water. I look in the mirror. My face looks so pale and hollow. My eyes have rings around them since I don't sleep as much due to the constant nightmares. The nightmares are usually of me losing Deryn. They all happen differently but they outcome is always the same. Deryn is taken from me and there is nothing I can do about it. Every time I think she is safe she is ripped away from me. Every time I think that things are peaceful something appears and turns the world upside down. I hold the sides of the sink and steady myself. _Stop thinking about this Alek. _No matter how many times I repeat this sentence over and over in my head I can never obey it. My mind never listens. Images of Deryn always fly through my mind and there is nothing I can do to shut them off. I need her here.

"Alek?" I turn around and see Bovril along with Lilit and Newkirk standing in the doorway of the bathroom. They all give me sympathetic looks. I look down and see that my knuckles are turning white. I release the sink and head back into the main room. I sit on the bed and breathe deeply.

"Alek, is everything okay?" Newkirk asks as he sits on the other bed.

"By okay you mean...?"

"You know what I mean." he says in a serious tone.

"Normal or somewhat sane?" I ask.

"Neither." he says

"None of us will be normal or sane anymore." Lilit says.

"Good point. But no I'm not okay. Things will never be okay."

"We have to push through it together." she says.

"This isn't easy for any of us." Newkirk adds.

"I just don't know what to do anymore." I say.

"That's okay Alek, you have us." Bovril says as he hugs me.

I hug him back and hold him tight. I don't want to lose him too. "I know but in my mind I'm alone."

"Just know you're never alone with us here." Newkirk says.

"So please cut all the melodrama and just talk to us." Lilit cuts in with a pat on my hand and a smile.

"You guys are right." I say.

"After Dinner Hobbes wants us to go to the Command Room. He said it was something important." Lilit says.

The three of us walk down to the Command Room. People will get out of our way but we don't find that necessary. We don't want to be treated differently here. None of us know what Hobbes wants but we don't argue with his request. I open the door. Volger and Mr. Rigby are already in the room and conversing with Hobbes. I can feel my fists burning. I resist all urges to go and rip Volger's throat out. I sit down relatively far from him for his own safety. Hobbes sees us and exits from his conversation. He walks towards us.

"You must all be wondering why I called this meeting." he says.

"Not really but go on." Lilit says. That's Lilit for you, tactful and straight to the point.

"Anyways, we have received information from undercover agents in the Capitol. We have a lead on where Deryn and Fitzroy are being held." he says. My ears perk up at her name. I sit up straight in my chair and wait for his next words. "This will not be an easy mission. But I am asking you three if you would like to go."

"What if something goes wrong?" Newkirk asks.

"You will be grouped with a squad of professionals." he says.

"And if the place we search is a decoy?" I ask.

"Soldiers will be sent in ahead of time to assure if it is a trap."

"Eddie and Adela are going to follow us aren't they?" Lilit asks.

"Yes, I tried to tell them that it would be dangerous but Adela kept going on about they need some action footage." he says.

"She never misses the perfect opportunity to get us in action." Newkirk says.

"Nope," I chime in.

"No doubt about it." Lilit adds. "What if we don't all get out?"

"We would never try to send you three on a fatal mission." Hobbes says. The three of us exchange worried glances.

"So there is a possibility that this mission could be fatal?" I ask.

"A small chance but if things get out of hand we will evacuate immediately." he assures us.

"Are you positive that the location is legit?" Lilit asks.

"Yes, now are you three in out?" he asks.

"Let's do it." Newkirk says cheerfully.

"Might as well." Lilit sighs.

"Count me in too I guess." I say.

We now have Training added to our schedules. The rescue mission will be in a few weeks. I want these weeks to pass by so that we can get Deryn out of there. The sooner I get her out of there the sooner things can go back to normal. But things will never be normal. I need to accept that fact. As for Fitzroy maybe we can drop him off somewhere. I know that Lilit and Newkirk will agree with me. I'm sure someone will take him in. He is the heartthrob of Panem after all. Any Capitol woman will take him in without hesitation.

We all go to the training facility. There are other soldiers here. They don't pay attention to us. They all look young but then I remember why. Soldiers begin their training at the age of 13 here. And since the three of us are 16 we stick out from the others. Lilit is fast to learn things and she is the fit out of the three of us. Newkirk is smart and has good aim with a knife. As for me well I'm fast and no thanks to my countless hours of fencing, I can do pretty well in a sword fight. But since people don't do much hand-to-hand combat or fight within a close range I have learned how to throw spears and knives.

We all pile in the elevator go above ground. I haven't been above ground at all. I wasn't much of a nature person. But being trapped underground has made me crave fresh air and the feeling of grass and dry leaves under my shoes. The doors slide open and the air hits us. We fan out into the clearing. The sun shines down on us. I let it warm my face.

It feels amazing to be out of that hole. It was suffocating to be in miles underground. I couldn't wait to get out of there. I know everyone is thinking the same thing. I close my eyes and listen to the sounds of nature. Everything is so peaceful here. I feel serene and happy. Why can't I feel like this all the time? I don't want this moment to end.

"Three miles now soldiers!" yells our officer. Just my luck.

Everyone heads to the dirt path and starts running. The path is hidden in the forest and made to look concealed. The trees hide us from anyone who could be flying right above us. We wouldn't want the Capitol to try to bomb our Training sessions. I keep running with Newkirk. Lilit already left us. I may be fast but she has much better endurance than me. Newkirk is struggling to keep up. Every time I see him slow down I push him forward. After the first couple of times he stopped protesting and let me shove him.

We are almost done with our run. Then as soon as I see the end of the path I hear something. Not like the rustling of leaves or the wind but I hear a voice. Her voice. I freeze. I stop where I am. Newkirk stops with me.

"Alek we have to keep going." he says. I ignore him and try to find out where her voice is coming from. "Alek? Are you listening to me? We have to keep going." he says again. I wave him away. Now she's laughing.

"Do you hear that?" I ask him.

"Hear what?" he asks out of breath.

"Laughter. _Her _laughter." I say.

"Alek,"

"Shh!" I exclaim. I cup my hand around my ear and listen to her laughing.

"Alek." he says.

"There!" I point. "She's right there!"

"No she isn't." he says.

"Yes, she is. Right there I will go get her." I say as I start to walk off the path.

Newkirk grabs me by the shoulders and looks straight in the eyes. "Alek, get a grip. Deryn isn't here. You're imagining things."

"But-"

"No listen to me. Deryn is in the Capitol." he interrupts me.

"Not for long though." I say

"Yes but until then we have to accept the fact that she isn't here."

I stare out at the direction that I heard her laughter. I take a step but I stand there. "What if-"

"There is not what if. She isn't here."

I drop my shoulders and face the end of the path. "Fine, let's go." I mutter.

As I jog away I swear I can hear her crying and begging me not to go. And it's breaking my heart.

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**A/N: So what did you think? Suggestions are welcome. I really haven't thought this whole story through. So yeah... Well there will be more instances where Alek is going to hallucinate. And yes the rescue mission is on its way. If you have anything you want me to add to this story to make it better just tell me and I will see where I could fit it in. You may be thinking what is happening to Deryn at this point in time. Things will all be revealed in time. Maybe if this story goes well then I can do it in Deryn's POV.**

**Maybe if I get some reviews/comments then I won't kill someone... Well at least one person is going to die but maybe I can make their death less painful and sad... You have been warned... *insert maniacal laughter here***

**Anyways see you all again soon!**

**~Z**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay so here is the second chapter I promised you. This one kind of focuses on Lilit. Don't worry it's still in Alek's POV. But it kind of goes into detail about how Lilit is adjusting and how she is doing much better than Alek and Newkirk. Jaspert will appear too. So if you're a Lilit lover, this is the chapter for you! Enjoy! :)**

**~Z**

**Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape or form Scott Westerfeld or Suzanne Collins...**

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I'm starting to think that Training is just a cruel way to torture us. Training for the War Games was never this brutal. We have to run three miles every session. After that we do our stretches and drills, in the mud. Lilit is usually the first to jump into the mud. I'm starting to think that she enjoys these training sessions a little too much. Following our drills we sit in a classroom and go over tactics until our minds turn to goo. Newkirk and I always fight to stay awake but Lilit is always up and alert. I wonder what they are putting in her food. I desperately need a dose of whatever she is having. When tactics are over we go hand-to-hand combat. The three of us stay in a group and Lilit takes Newkirk and I both down easily. I don't see how Lilit needs to go to Training. She is already better than most of the other soldiers here.

I see Lilit jogging up ahead. It has only been a few days since we started training and she is already leader of the group and the only girl in this squad. The boys are either intimidated by her or crushing on her. She doesn't pay attention to anything the boys do. As for Newkirk and I, we are usually the last ones to finish our 3 miles and the last ones to dive into the mud. And the officer always has to yell at us when we fall asleep or fall behind.

At least in one week and a half we will perform our mission. Adela has forced us to wear our Propo uniforms on the day of the mission. The uniforms are more than decorative; they actually have armor and protection under the fabric. Mr. Rigby has also issued us special weapons. Lilit was given special throwing stars that return back to her with a push of a button. Newkirk was given a set of knives that fly back to him. I was given a special sword and a knife that come back to me if I need them to.

It's Dinnertime when I see him walk to our table. I wonder why he is coming over here. Before I can ask Lilit or Newkirk he sits right across from me and next to Lilit. Lilit doesn't notice she continues to eat her rice. Newkirk smiles at him

"I heard you're all going on the rescue mission to get my little sister." Jaspert says.

"You heard right," Newkirk says.

"I found out that I'm assigned to your squad." says Jaspert.

"That's going to be helpful." Lilit says.

"You must miss her." I say out of nowhere. Everyone at the table looks at me.

Jaspert doesn't say anything like he's thinking of what he should say. "Of course, but I know that we will get her out."

"Of course we will if lover boy here has anything to say about it." Lilit says as she points to me with her spoon.

I roll my eyes. "Will you please stop calling me that?" I ask.

"Nah too fun." she says eating her food.

"Ignore her," Newkirk says. She sticks her tongue out at him. "Anyways how have you been Jaspert?"

"I've been fine but now I'm stuck with my Ma and our aunts. Deryn's looking like the lucky one right about now. I can't handle all the nagging. 'Jaspert go get my knitting tools!' 'Jaspert come rub my feet!' 'Jaspert stop slouching and sit up straight!' I'm pretty sure the Capitol can't recreate this kind of torture." he says shaking his head.

"You're a hero man. I would go loony after five minutes." Newkirk says.

"Thanks," he says rolling his eyes.

"I bet I could last." Lilit chirps.

"Be my guest." Jaspert says gesturing to the table that his family is sitting at.

"With pleasure." she says as she stands up and heads to the table.

The women welcome her and they all go into a conversation. Lilit is pointing over to us and saying something to them but I'm terrible at reading lips. A woman who I take is Jaspert and Deryn's mother looks our way and waves. The three of us wave back absent mindedly. Lilit looks like she is telling a joke or a story. The women are all smiling and laughing at something. Jaspert and Newkirk gape. Apparently the women were hard to please.

"I can't believe it," Jaspert says.

"I know, I would have thought for sure that they would be scolding her but now they are welcoming her like a sister!" Newkirk exclaims.

"She's like Deryn and my aunts were repeatedly trying to change her!" Jaspert screeches.

"That's Lilit for you." I mumble as I go back to eating.

Lilit waves a goodbye to the women and walks back to our table with a skip in her step. "I don't know why you find them annoying, they're a riot!" she says.

"My Ma? A riot? You must be joking." Jaspert says.

"Your mother was the funniest one! Well then your aunt Elaine was a close second. Such crazy women. How you find them irritating is beyond me." she says.

"You're insane." he says.

"Tell me something I don't know Blondie." she says.

"Blondie?" Jaspert asks.

Newkirk just claps and smiles. "Well done, well done."

Lilit puts her hands up. "I try,"

"Alek you haven't said much." Jaspert says.

I then realize that they're talking to me. "What? Oh sorry, I'm not much of a talker." I say as I finish my dinner.

"Well all right then. I have to go back or my aunt Rita is going to come over here and drag me away by the ear. Wish me luck. See you three tomorrow." he says. We wave him goodbye and all leave to Training.

Newkirk and I are trying to figure out how to put these guns together. All the pieces are laid out in front us and we have no idea what pieces connect to which. We might as well have been told to build a working rocket with plastic spoons that run on carrot juice. Some of the other soldiers are having trouble as well. That means we aren't the only ones. Lilit is already done and lying in the grass. I still don't know she always does this so fast. I'm starting to think that she has someone else do it for her. She easily could persuade one of the other soldiers.

"Have you figured it out yet?" I ask Newkirk.

He shakes his head. "I'm pretty sure we got broken guns."

"Having trouble boys?" We both turn around and see Lilit looming over us.

We both slump our shoulders and stare at the ground. "Yes," we both mumble.

Lilit sits next to us and swiftly puts our guns together. She puts them back into our hands and walks away leaving us dumbfounded. We stare at each other then at her. I inspect the gun. It's put together perfectly.

"How did she..?" Newkirk starts to ask.

"I don't know. I just don't know." I say.

We all go back to our apartment. It's almost time to go to bed. I open the door and see that Bovril is already fast asleep on the bed. He hasn't even bothered to change. I kick off my shoes and flop onto the bed. Newkirk goes to his bed on the floor and falls into it. Lilit goes to the bathroom to bathe. I change Bovril into his night clothes and tuck him into bed. Newkirk is sleeping and snoring loudly. I drape his blanket over his head and wait for Lilit to finish so that I can shower and wash away all of this disgusting sweat.

Lilit exits the bathroom door minutes later in her night clothes and her hair in a wet tangled mess.

"All yours lover boy." she says as she sits on her bed.

I sigh, grab my clothes and go into the bathroom. After my shower I head out into the main room and see that Bovril is sleeping peacefully. Newkirk is laying on his stomach with one of his legs bent in the air and clutching his pillow in one of his arms and drooling on it. Poor, poor pillow. I sit on the bed and notice that Lilit is still awake under her covers.

"What are you still doing up?" I ask her.

She just looks at me. Her eyes aren't as lively and wild as usual. "Can't sleep. Never can." she says simply.

"Want to talk about it?" I ask. I sit cross legged and face her.

"Don't know where to start." she says.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Just my family." she says quietly.

"Your grandmother and father?" I ask.

She nods. "Yes, my grandmother is getting older and more and more frail. She is one of the people who I truly care about." she says.

"And your father?"

"He was part of the Rebellion in District 11."

"What do you mean 'was'?"

"The Peacekeepers found out that he was one of the leaders so they executed him on live T.V. I was there in the live audience during the execution. Now I only have my grandmother left." she whispers. Her focus is somewhere off in the distance.

That has to be traumatic to see someone close to you be killed right in front of you. I should know the same thing happened to me. "I'm sorry," I tell her.

Her attention turns back to me. "You don't have to be. He was a good man and an excellent father." she says smiling a little. "Things are never going to get easier are they?" she asks.

"Don't think they ever will." I say. I lift the covers and settle myself in.

"Thank you Alek." she whispers.

I look at her. "For what?" I ask.

"For understanding me and not turning me away." she says.

"You're welcome. Good night." I tell her as I turn off the lamp.

"Good night lover boy." she says in the dark.

I can see her standing in the middle of the clearing here in District 13. But why is she here? I don't think twice. I run straight for her. She turns and sees me. I see her smile at me. Her arms open for me. I see her saying something but I can't hear her. I run faster. The distance keeps growing and it looks like she is getting further and further away. I finally reach her and hold her. I hold her tightly. I won't let her go.

"Alek," she starts to say.

Then I hear the sound of a knife cutting through the air. I hear it hit something. I search myself to see if it hit me. But it didn't hit me. I look around but I don't see a knife anywhere. If it didn't hit me then who or what did it hit? I look at Deryn. She has gone lifeless in my arms. Her eyes have closed and she's gone limp. I search her back and see that the knife is sticking out from the middle of her shoulder blades. I take the knife out and throw it on the ground. I lay her body on the ground. She's gone. And I couldn't save her. I feel something sharp enter my stomach.

I wake up and see the black ceiling remembering that it's night time. I calm my breathing and look around the room. Everyone is still asleep. I run my fingers through my hair. No need to wake up everyone because of a nightmare. _It was just a dream. Get a grip Alek. _I tell myself. I wrap the blanket tightly around me and close.

"Alek you broke you promise," I hear her say. I sit up so fast my pillow hits Lilit in the face. She instantly wakes up and glares at me. My breathing comes out in chunks.

"Alek are you okay?" Lilit asks.

"Broke your promise." I hear Deryn say in a sing song voice.

"Did you hear that?" I ask her.

"Hear what?" she asks me slightly confused.

"Why did you leave me Alek?" Deryn asks in a sad voice.

"I didn't want to!" I shout at the ceiling.

Lilit stands up and grabs my shoulders and steadies me. "Alek, stop it. You're imagining things." she tells me.

"But I hear her,"

"She isn't there. Your mind is playing tricks on you." she says. "Go back to sleep."

"But-"

"Go to sleep. She isn't there. She is in the Capitol miles away from here. Now go to sleep." Lilit says as she climbs back into her bed.

"Okay," I whisper. I settle back down into the bed and pull the blankets up to my chest. I close my eyes and steady my breathing.

"Night lover boy." Lilit says.

"Night." I say.

"Good night Alek. Sweet dreams." I hear Deryn say in cryptic voice. I hold my hands to my ears to block her out. I fall asleep like that.

My mind is playing with me. I won't let it win.

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**A/N: Tell me if you enjoyed this chapter. I know Alek is starting act like Annie Cresta but I think is really ties in with the story. I mean wouldn't you go crazy if the person you cared about taken from you and you couldn't stop them? So do you think I nailed all the characters? Yes, no, maybe so? Well review/comment. And all that jazz. See you all sometime soon!**

**~Z**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry about not being able to update earlier. I had a Y2Y summit on Wednesday and Thursday and they were for 7 hours. Really fun though! I don't remember being on the computer on Tuesday… Well I got 3 shots tomorrow and I went to the dentist. So I am still in a bit of pain. Especially my right arm with is my dominant arm. So I might have some errors in the story.**

**And I know people are reading. So where are my reviews? Are you afraid that I will bite? Well I won't. And for anyone who needs a Beta Reader, I can be your girl! Ask me and I will consider. But just read my profile for more information about me.**

**Wow this was maybe one of my longest author's notes. Well time for chapter 7.**

**~Z**

**Disclaimer: Let's just say I do not have the talent or brain capacity to have written Leviathan or Hunger Games…**

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Deryn's voice invades my mind all day. I can hear her yelling, crying, cursing, laughing and sometimes I can even hear her whistling. It's like she is talking in my ear. It's like she is standing next to me. Lilit and Newkirk ignore me when this happens. Bovril will just watch me until I'm done shouting at the ceiling or crying. The doctors try to investigate about my behavior but they don't come up with anything. The Capitol isn't causing this, Deryn isn't causing this in fact no one else is causing this. There is no one who can blame because I'm causing it.

Now I lay here on the hospital bed for my hundredth examination. Dr. Barlow usually runs the tests since she is the only doctor I really trust. She left to get the results. It will probably say the same thing as always, that there is nothing wrong that I'm just losing my mind.

I always made fun of people who were mad but now I understand. It isn't something you can control. It is something you have fight through. I try and try but Deryn's voice just rings through my head. I want it to stop but there is nothing I can do about it.

"Alek, are you all right?" Dr. Barlow asks as she walks into the room with various papers in her hands.

I realize that I'm holding my hands over my ears and crouching. "I'm fine," I say.

"Well the papers just say the same thing as always but I do have a theory." she says sitting in the chair next to me.

"Which is?" I ask her. I don't think there is a name for the mental state I'm in.

"You're love sick and heart broken." she says.

"What do you mean? How could that cause my behavior?"

"Well the mind is a curious thing. Love is something very powerful for the mind. When you lost Deryn your mind couldn't handle the abandonment. So to make itself feel better, it made you believe Deryn was never gone."

"The voices," I mumble.

"Created so that your mind could hold onto her memory and make you feel less alone."

"And when I think she is there?"

"Just an illusion to make you gasp a shred of hope to keep pushing through."

"So my mind is doing all of this so that I never forget Deryn or give up on her?" I ask. It doesn't seem possible. How could my mind do all of this?

"Exactly. But when Deryn is in your reach again your behavior should return to normal." she says. She looks at her own arm. "Seems it's time for Lunch, you should go and eat with the other Victors."

I climb down from the hospital bed and go to the cafeteria. People whisper about me in the halls and just shake their heads. None of them understand. And they never will.

I grab my food and sit at my table. Lilit is already there eating. I don't see Bovril or Newkirk. Where could they have gone?

"Good afternoon lover boy." Lilit chirps as I sit down.

"Can you please stop calling me that?" I mutter as I eat my food.

"Okay, would you rather that I called you Crazy?"

I sigh. There is no way to win with Lilit as the opponent. "I'll stick with 'lover boy' then."

"Good,"

I drink my water and look around but I don't see Bovril or Newkirk anywhere. "By the way have you seen Newkirk or Bovril?"

She looks up from her tray and looks at the ceiling as if searching for the answer. "I haven't the slightest idea. I thought they were with you." she says.

"No, I thought they were with you. Where could they have gone? Newkirk loves to eat and Bovril follows his schedule precisely, down to every second."

"I don't know. I was in the education center and I don't know where Newkirk was, his schedule is different from mine today."

"Something seems fishy and it's not just this fish chowder. We should go search for him." I say. The fish chowder has a very strong odor. I plug my nose and eat it since I can't stand the smell.

"What about Bovril?" she asks.

"We can check in the Hospital Ward to see if he is there. Then we can go look for Newkirk."

"It's not like him to go MIA." she mumbles.

"Let's finish eating and go find them." I say.

Along the way to the Hospital Ward we notice that not many people are in the halls. Even though we are in the Hospital, nurses and doctors are usually buzzing through the halls. But there is barely anyone, only a few patients walking around and an occasional nurse or two. I notice that most of the rooms are empty.

"Something doesn't seem right." Lilit says searching around.

"It's too quiet and still." I say.

Then I see a bright light coming from the end of the hall. Both of us walk towards it. I hear a clatter of voices and the beeping of machines. Whoever is in there is in critical condition. I stop right outside the viewing room. I don't want to see that person. I don't like to see people in pain.

"Alek, come on." says Lilit. She is tugging me by the sleeve to enter the room.

"I don't want to go in." I tell her.

"I want to see who it is." she says trying to pull me into the room.

"Well I don't." I snap.

She takes a step back from me. "Alek,"

"I don't want to see someone who is in pain." I almost yell at her.

"I'm not asking you to go in there and torture them I just want to visit the person."

"Well wouldn't they enjoy that? Because seeing you would bring a smile to their face." I spit at her with sarcasm dripping off every word.

She looks taken back. I suddenly realize that I have never talked to her like that. Although she is tough and confident on the outside, she is vulnerable and scared on the inside. She was never good with negative comments. I walk towards her. But she just steps away from me. I can see the tears build up in her eyes. I see her lip quivering. She looks like she is about to cry. I have really done it now.

"Lilit-" I start to say.

She punches me in the stomach. I feel the air escape my lungs. She watches me fall to the floor in pain. I can see her feet moving away from me. I try to reach out to tell her that I'm sorry. But she's gone.

I slowly get up and hold the door frame. I take deep breaths. She always had a strong arm. I search around for her but she's out of sight. I debate whether I should go in and see the patient.

I suck in a big gulp of air and walk into the room.

All the doctors are crowded around the person. I can't see who it is yet. The monitors are beeping at a normal rate but I see a lot blood. It's staining everything. That person must have had quite an accident. I keep watching the doctors' work to see if I can see who the patient is.

No one moves out of the way. I sit in a chair and watch. I ignore the schedule on my arm.

"Alek what are you doing here?" I turn towards the door and see Bovril standing there.

"I'm fine, I'm just wondering who this patient is." I settle back in the chair.

Bovril sits next to me. "I was wondering that too but no one will tell me or let me in the room." he says.

"So it's a mystery to the both of us."

"Yeah," Bovril says.

I'm not sure how long we have stayed in the viewing room but it has been a while. The doctors are starting to leave and I can see a little of the person but not too much. A doctor pulls a curtain in front of the patient's bed. They all leave.

I get up and go into the next room. The door is unlocked. I walk through and head to the person's bed. It sounds like the person is sleeping soundly. I pull the curtain away.

The patient has his blanket covering his face and is snoring loudly. I pull the blanket away.

It can't be. It just can't be him. I don't even see where he could have gotten so damaged. He has his arm bandaged up and his face is covered in bandages yet again.

Only Newkirk would damage himself this much. Always so accident prone. I wonder how he got hurt. I don't think the education center was a lethal place. Well for the body that is.

He is still sleeping peacefully. I look at all the monitors and see that everything is okay. When he wakes up I will ask him what happened but for now he needs his rest.

I settle in a chair close to his bed and wait. I find myself dozing off. Maybe a little sleep won't hurt. I rest my head on the wall and close my eyes.

I must have slept for hours because the hospital is very quiet and there is no one in the halls. I stay with Newkirk and wait for him to wake up. I don't want to go back to the apartment since Lilit might still be mad at me. She might try to strangle me if I go there.

I stare at the clock, just waiting for time to pass by.

"Alek where are you?" Deryn asks.

I hold my hands over my ears. She isn't here. She isn't really here.

"Alek I'm waiting for you." she says in a sing song voice.

"Get out of my head." I say careful not to wake Newkirk.

She starts laughing maniacally. "Never," she whispers. It's like I can feel her breath on my ear.

I shrug it away. She isn't here. This is a figment of my imagination.

"Is that all I am to you?" she asks sadly.

"You aren't really here." I mutter.

"In your mind I am." she says.

"No you're not!" I exclaim. I look over to Newkirk who is still asleep.

"Don't give up on me Alek. Please don't give up on me just yet." she whimpers.

I take my hands off of my ears. "I would never give up on you." I say.

"Thank you Alek. I love you." she says.

I stare at the one way glass. "I love you too Deryn,"

I close my eyes and sleep.

* * *

**Good? Yes? No? Sorry if it's a bit short my arm is hurting and I have to baby sit. I will maybe have the next chapter up by Monday. So you know what to do. **

**~Z**


	8. Chapter 8

**HELLO! Yeah, I haven't updated in a while. I know but hey it's not like I have much motivation… Anyways, I started my sport last week which is girl's swimming and I am always so tired! I swear I just come home, shower to scrub off and wash out the chlorine from my hair, eat basically everything in sight then I collapse on the couch, wake up again, eat dinner then I go back to sleep and do it all again the next day. Plus, I have practice at 7:30 in the morning and it goes on for 3 hours! 3 HOURS. And my face always hurts from the goggles. Don't even get me started on my terrible tan lines… **

**I have also babysat and I can barely get to the computer with one kid yelling about something and another trying to pull the wires out of the TV. But they're my nephews and I have to deal with them. Even if I want to dump them off at Wal-Mart with a sign saying anyone can take them. Yeah, I know that is a bit harsh but my sister wanted to do the same thing and she's the mother! So I hope you can see how that contributes to the fact that I couldn't type anything up.**

**Things have been a bit crazy. I'm aiming to finish this story before school starts and once school starts I shall make no promises. I might update like every week and start on another story I had in mind and yes it will be another crossover! So watch for that. :)**

**I should really stop rambling and/or ranting and let you read the story!**

**~Z**

**Disclaimer: Seriously if I was Suzanne Collins or Scott Westerfeld I would be writing a fourth book to both trilogies! Sadly I am not them and there will be no fourth book to either series…**

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I don't know when I dozed off but somehow I did. I kept dreaming about her. She has always invaded my dreams. There is not one moment when I'm not thinking about her. She is just always there. I must been in a deep sleep if I had slept for this long.

I open my eyes to see a much scarred Newkirk looking at me. He doesn't say anything instead he looks a bit nervous for some reason.

"What are you doing here?" he asks.

"I was wondering where you went." He stares down as if he did something wrong. "Newkirk what's wrong?" I ask him.

It seems like years before he says anything. "We left on the mission without you and Lilit." he says quietly.

I stare down at the ground. I don't even have anything to say. What can I say? I just can't believe that they left without us. I told them I wanted to get her out personally. The mission was supposed to take place next week. I was supposed to find her. I was supposed to get her out safely.

"Where's Deryn." I hiss out. Newkirk doesn't say anything, in fact he looks sad. "Where is she?" I hiss louder.

"Alek-"

"TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!" I shout at him. He freezes and stares at me. I don't know what is happening to me. I don't usually yell. And I don't get angry like this. "I'm sorry; I've just been on edge lately. Where is she?" I ask him.

"Critical Care unit." he says quietly.

"Am I allowed to visit her?" I want the answer to be yes so that I can run through the halls to find her.

"I'm not sure." he mumbles.

"What's wrong?"

He rubs the back of his head. It's something he does when he has bad news. "Deryn isn't…. Well how am I supposed to say this? Deryn is… "

"Deryn is what?"

He sighs. "The Capitol tortured her and she isn't herself."

I run out of the room and search for her. Newkirk is shouting something at me but I don't listen to him. I keep running. I knew that something was wrong. Nurses are yelling at me to stop but I don't listen to them. Doctors are trying to stop me but I push past them. I have to find her. I run through the maze of hallways until I find the Critical Care unit. I stop running and walk carefully through the halls.

I hear a clatter of voices at the end of the hallway. I walk towards it. Doctors are running everywhere with millions of papers. I stand in the doorway. Volger and Mr. Rigby are by the bed talking to someone. I creep in closer and see her.

Her short hair is matted to her head with sweat and blood. The skin around her eyes is dark as if someone rubbed coal on her. Doctors are asking her questions and trying to figure things out. She looks like a living skeleton. I can see the bones in her face. I lean against the doorway. She hasn't seen me yet.

I don't know what to do. She is right there, only 10 feet away from me. She's in my reach again. But something doesn't feel right. I don't feel like Deryn is really there. It's like her body is there but she isn't.

Deryn sees me. My breath catches when she looks at me. Her eyes look the same. I can see the emotions dance around; surprise, confusion and I think fear. She pushes past all the doctors and our mentors. I open my arms for her. She walks into them. I hold her close but then I feel something sharp enter my shoulder.

All I remember before blacking out is that someone pulled her away from me and that she was yelling.

Hijacked, that's what she is. I heard the doctors talking about it. The Capitol used venom to twist her memories of me so that she found me as a threat. In her mind I was the enemy and I was bent on hurting her. That's how Telsa wants to get rid of me. He knows I will fight back against anything he throws at me but he knows I would never even consider hurting Deryn. Deryn doesn't remember that she loves me. She tried to kill me when she stabbed me. It's her mission to kill me so that the war ends.

It's been days since I've seen her. They won't let us near each other. I have to share a hospital room with Fitzroy and I wish I could kill him. He's tried to kill me on more than several occasions so I would only be returning his gesture by strangling him.

"Alek," Fitzroy says. I don't say anything.

"Alek," he says again. I just stay on my side with my back to him. I only have to spend 5 more days with him here.

"Alek," he says louder. He has now resorted to throwing things at me. I grit my teeth and ignore him, just five long, brutal and torturous days.

"ALEK!" he shouts. I whip up and glare at him.

"What could you possibly want now?!" I yell at him.

He just grins. "I dropped my remote, could you please pick it up for me?" he asks with mock niceness.

"Why can't you just get it yourself?" I snap at him.

"You have to be nice to me since I was tortured." he smiles.

"Not as much as you're torturing me now." I mumble.

"Excuse me, what did you say?" he says.

"Nothing I will gladly get your remote for you." I say with a big fake smile.

"Good." he says. I get up and pick up the remote that is lying on the floor. I chuck it at his head. He dodges with ease. "Nice try." he sneers.

I desperately wish I could wipe that smug smile off his face.

"Where is our food?" he whines. I climb back into bed and try to block out his voice.

"Alek, where is our food? I'M STARVING!" he screeches.

I put my pillow over my head to block out his voice.

"FOOD!" he shouts. I poke my head out from under my pillow to see that our lunch has arrived.

The tray is set right in front of me. I sit up and dig into the soup. There is a thick slice of bread and some potatoes. I eat the soup quietly while Fitzroy is next to me slurping his up. The sound is very sickening.

"Could you please eat quieter?" I hiss.

"Certainly. But I won't." he says smugly. He slurps his soup even louder to spike me.

"Just ignore him Alek," I whisper to myself.

I finish my soup and proceed to the potatoes; there is no flavor what so ever. I don't think anything of the cooks here know the meaning of taste. I don't even think that they have salt much less how to use it.

"Are you going to finish that?" I look up to see Fitzroy looming over me staring hungrily at my slice of bread.

"Well-"

"Okay good." he says taking the bread off my tray and stuffing it into his mouth.

"I could have you reported you know?" I say angry.

"Yeah I know. But you won't say anything." he smirks. He lies in his bed and rubs his stomach satisfied with his meal.

He's right. I wish I could just kill him already and get him out of my life forever but I can't I'm stuck with him like a scar, a painfully annoying, arrogant and hedonistic scar that I can't get rid of.

Bovril is really the only person who visits me. Newkirk is in his own hospital room and I take that Lilit is still mad at me. Bovril doesn't really like Fitzroy all too much. But he still has to be nice to him since she is a medic.

"Is that all you need Alek?" Bovril asks.

"I'm fine,"

"Hey, medic!" Fitzroy booms.

Bovril gags and turns to face him. "Yes Fitzroy?" he asks in the nicest voice he can muster.

"I want my pillow fluffed." he says.

"That is not what I'm here for." Bovril says stalely.

"But you have to tend to the patients and I am a patient. Now fluff my pillow."

Bovril drops his shoulders and starts to walk towards him. I catch his arm and hold him in place.

"You don't have to do it." I say. Bovril nods. "Fitzroy you can't just push him around like this. He isn't your servant."

"You stay out of this Alek. I will push him around if I want to." he says.

"No you can't."

"And who is going to make me?"

"I am." I stand up. He stands up too. He is only a few inches taller than me. We stare each other down. I raise my fist ready to punch him.

And that is the moment that Volger chooses to walk in.

"Alek put your fist down." he says.

I huff out a ragged breath and sit down on my bed. Bovril walks out of the room.

"What do you want Volger." I hiss at him.

"Don't use that tone with me." he just says.

"Fine. What are you doing here?" I ask in an overly nice tone.

Volger who is very dense accepts the fake tone. "Better, now I came here with news."

"News?" Fitzroy asks.

"Yes, it seems that Deryn is not well."

"What are you getting at Volger?" I ask him sternly.

"She is a threat to you Alek. We cannot allow for you to see her."

I glare at him. "I want to see her Volger."

"She isn't ready. She can only see people who she remembers from her old District."

"I want to see her now." I tell him.

"I forbid it." Volger snaps at me.

"Since when have I ever listened to you?" I ask.

"Good point, but I still forbid it. I have even told the guards that you are not allowed within a 30 foot radius."

"You really think that is going to stop me?" I ask him.

"If that doesn't, then I will." he says very sternly.

"Humor me." I smile.

Volger doesn't say another word. He just gets up and leaves. I stare after him.

"Harsh much?" Fitzroy sneers.

"Shut up." I say.

"You really should thank him." he says.

"Why would I thank him? He was supposed to get Deryn out of the arena and he failed at that." I snap.

"But you got out. Doesn't that matter?"

"Not at all and besides why do you care?" I ask him.

Fitzroy actually looks like he cares. I don't believe him. "My mentor was killed as soon as you were rescued. I never got to see him again. And you know what? He was my uncle."

I don't say anything.

"Mr. Rigby and Volger are the only other victors left. As soon as you got out all other victors were killed on live TV. I don't care if you hate him. Treat him well. He is one of the only other people who have gone through what you went through."

I turn my back to him and put the pillow over my head. I block him out for the rest of the day.

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**So yeah, that's Chapter 8 coming to a wrap. Reviews/comments? It would really make my day if you reviewed. You would have the privilege of making my day better. So write something down in the box. I don't care if it's a negative comment or one word. HIT THE BUTTON.**

**Meh. I guess I will just go and make cookies then. And not share them.**

**Ignore my ranting, I'm just tired and I still have to get packed for team bonding camping trip. So I will maybe update on Monday. And maybe I won't.**

**Anyways have a fantabulous summer! (Bet you don't know the reference)**

**~Z**


	9. Chapter 9

**So I after these chapters I will end the story once and for all and start my new story which will be much better. It will include both characters but take place in District 12 (after Mockingjay.) And as for the Leviathan characters things will take place after Goliath. (Yes, Deryn's secret is out and Alek is still a dummkopf.) For the story people will be paired up, and I think you will all like the pairs I have chosen. :) **

**Muwahahahaha.**

**This will be a longish chapter so bear with me. Don't really have anything else to say so read.**

**~Z**

**Disclaimer: Basically no one on Fanfiction owns the stories they write about so why am I any different?**

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Fitzroy is still in the hospital while I have been discharged. Thank heavens that I don't need to spend another week there or another day for that matter. It's been a week since I've seen Lilit; I hope she isn't still mad with me. I wouldn't be able to face her knowing that she's mad. I walk to the room slowly since my shoulder and legs are sore.

I hated being in the hospital for the second time. The doctors keep telling me that I am safe but I chose to ignore them. Dr. Barlow would come in to see how I was handling everything. She was one of the only doctors who didn't irritate me. Plus she would let me walk around even when the other doctors refused to let me. I thought I was going to lose my head with Fitzroy throwing things and constantly annoying me. I was ready to kill him in his sleep.

Right now it's Reflection everyone should be in the apartment.

I open the door. Bovril is the first to crush me in a hug. Newkirk is still going to be in the hospital for a few more days since he had a bullet go right through his chest just barely missing his heart. Lilit is sitting on her bed working with a rope tying knots in it. From here I can see that her fingers have gone raw. That must be how she is getting her anger out. She looks up and sees me. Her face shows no emotion. She stands up and walks towards me. I close my eyes and wait for her to punch me. I half expect her to choke me with the rope but instead she hugs me.

I open my eyes then she punches me on my good shoulder. "That was for making us worried sick!" she says.

I rub my good shoulder which is now hurting my injured shoulder. "Sorry I didn't know she was like that." I say. I never expected Deryn to pull out a knife and stab me with it.

"It's alright. Newkirk, Mr. Rigby and her family are the only people who can visit her at the moment for everyone's safety." she says.

"Is that a good idea?" I ask.

"Not the best but they can't let her go ballistic they had to sedate her last time and her heart almost gave out." Bovril says.

"Okay but when do you think I can visit her?" I ask them.

"I don't know." Bovril says quietly.

"Come let's go to Dinner." Lilit says.

Dinner is the same usual. The food still smells the same and I'm pretty sure that the food with taste the same. Newkirk has been wheeled to the table. He has a few other scars on his face and his arm is in a sling. He sees us and smiles. We grab our food and sit with him. He looks more gruesome close up.

"Oh Newkirk how are you always the one with the worst injuries?" Lilit says stabbing her potatoes.

"If you think mine are horrible you should see my commanding officers'." he says.

"How is she?" I ask him.

Newkirk puts his spoon down. "Well she is really paranoid and she keeps wondering why you tried to kill her. I always tell her that you didn't, then we start arguing and that's when the doctors tell me to leave." he says.

"So she asks about me?"

"Yeah she says that she remembers you're face and basic things about you but she doesn't remember everything, like important parts." he says.

"Would they let me see her?" I ask hoping he would say yes.

"Maybe, you would have to ask." he says.

I finish up my food and head straight to Volger's apartment. I push through people without saying anything to them. I knock noisily on his door. I know that he doesn't eat dinner in the cafeteria; he eats in his room under surveillance. I pound on the door louder.

He opens the door with an annoyed expression. "What do you need Alek?" he asks.

"I want to see Deryn." I state.

"No," he says calmly.

"Yes,"

"Cannot allow it." he says starting to close the door.

I put my foot in the door. "Let me see her. It could be good for her health."

He opens the door wider. "Or it could be bad for her health."

"I want to see her anyways." I say. I stare him down.

"Fine, meet me outside her room in one hour." he says before slamming the door.

I sit outside her room waiting for him. The doctors give me strange looks but never ask me why I'm here. I try counting the little tiles on the floor. Right now I am up to 1,027. Where is he? I look down the halls for him. He is nowhere in sight. I lean my head against the wall. I stare up at the ceiling. I start to count the tiles on the ceiling.

"Are you ready?" Volger asks. I didn't hear him come down the hall. I nod. He gives me an earpiece. "Do what I say." he says. I nod. He opens the door for me.

I walk in. Deryn eyes me from her bed. I stand at the foot of her bed. She has her arms restrained and a needle in her arm in case she goes insane. Her hair is wild and unkempt and her eyes look too bright. She looks at me like she is trying to figure me out.

"So you're Alek." she says finally. "Thought you would have been more handsome."

"And I thought you would be nicer." I snap.

"I have an excuse, you don't. And I've never really been nice." she says smugly.

"You were always nice to me."

Her expression changes from smug to serious. "Why would I be nice to someone who was trying to kill me?" she asks.

"I never-"

"Liar." she says interrupting me.

"I wouldn't ever try to hurt you." I say.

"Then why did you throw that spear at me?" she hisses. She looks like she wants to hurt me right about now.

"It was aimed at the person behind you who was ready to stab you." I say defensively.

"That's a lie." she says. "They told me that it was aimed at me."

"I would never try to hurt you intentionally."

"So you would hurt me on accident?" she says.

"That's the point, on accident." I tell her.

She looks up at the ceiling as if the truth is right there. She glares right back at me. "I don't believe you, you're just some mutt that the Capitol created."

"I am not." I say each word separately.

"They said you would deny it." she shouts.

"I'm not denying it."

"STOP LYING." she screams.

"Calm down," I say. I walk closer to her.

She looks at me with those big blue eyes making me stop in my tracks. "Don't you dare tell me to calm down, you mutt." she seethes.

I turn away from her and walk out the door. I don't care what else she has to say to me. Volger doesn't say anything to stop me. I rip the earpiece out and throw it as far as I can. I still hear her calling me a mutt from this far down the hall. I find a nice abandoned closet and just there trying to process what had just happened.

Deryn doesn't remember anything right. I never did try to kill her, on purpose that is. Why doesn't she remember how Fitzroy was the one who would try to kill her? The Capitol must have made it where they focused on what I did and made it seem like I was trying to kill her. She is bent on the fact that I want to kill her but for what? Killing her would have no advantage only to Telsa. If I kill Deryn then I would most likely commit suicide or have a mental breakdown. Then Telsa won't have to worry about me anymore.

I bang my head on the wall not hard enough to get a concussion. I don't want to go back to the hospital and share a room with Fitzroy again. I shudder at the thought. I don't know how long I've been here alone but then I see the door open and white light comes pouring in momentarily blinding me. I can't see who it is that interrupted my thinking.

"Alek, stop going missing I don't want to have to keep tracking you down." Lilit says. Well I'm pretty sure it's Lilit since she is the only person I know who talks like that with that tone.

"Just wanted a moment to myself." I say trying to get up. Lilit grabs my arm and helps me up.

"Then why didn't you go back to the apartment?" she says.

"Too far and I didn't want to be there."

She sighs. "Come one it's almost time for lights out and I don't want to get in trouble." she says.

"Really?" I blink a few times to try to see again.

"I didn't even believe myself." she says chuckling. "But seriously let's go I am exhausted from hunting you down."

It's breakfast time by the time I see Fitzroy out of his hospital room. Bovril must be tending to a patient since I don't see him. Fitzroy is sitting with Newkirk who looks a little better now. He has crutches instead of a wheelchair. At least he can move freely. The thing that surprises me is that Newkirk and Fitzroy are talking to each other. And laughing I think.

We get our food and sit down. They stop their conversation and greet us.

"Hey guys." Newkirk says in his cheery mood. I still don't know how he is a morning person.

"Hi, what's he doing here?" Lilit asks putting extra emphasis on 'he'.

Fitzroy just smiles sweetly. "You know you want me here sweetie." he winks.

Lilit just growls at him. "You are very lucky that you're a tortured patient and that there are guards stationed at the exits." she growls at him.

"Kitty has claws." he says eating his food.

Lilit is ready to lunge at him but I put a hand on her shoulder and force her to sit down. "It's not worth it." I tell her.

Fitzroy just laughs at her. "Don't think I won't kill you." she hisses.

Newkirk's smile fades and so does Fitzroy. I turn around to see what they are gaping at. I don't even believe my eyes when I see her standing there.

"I need permission to sit here and Jaspert isn't here and neither are my aunts or my mom." Deryn says calmly.

Her arms are bound by handcuffs and she has two soldiers behind her. Deryn almost looks like herself but her eyes are so dull and lifeless and she has no expression. Lilit scoots over to let her sit down.

"Feel free to sit." Lilit says patting the seat next to her.

Deryn sits and the soldiers handcuff her to the table. She starts eating her food. Everyone is pretty tense at the moment with Deryn here. Even Fitzroy is tense.

"Newkirk how is everything?" Deryn asks.

Newkirk looks a bit startled. "I'm fine just recovering." he says.

"That's good what about you Lilit I haven't seen you in a while." she says ripping apart her bread.

"Everything has been fine here except for the fact that it feels like I'm living in a box." she laughs.

"Really? I thought I was the only one." Deryn smiles and for a moment she looks like her normal self.

"I think everyone feels the same." Newkirk says.

The conversation goes on about how strange District 13 is. I don't take part in it I just let them talk. Deryn is laughing and smiling like normal but nothing feels normal. Her hands are bound so that she doesn't try to kill me. Soldiers are watching her so that she doesn't hurt anyone and we are trapped in this hole.

Things will never be normal. And I guess I have to get past that, for her.

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**Meh. Review?**

**I will get started on the new story at some point and it will be more humor and maybe some drama but mainly humor.**

**~Z**


	10. Chapter 10

**Eh, this will be the epilogue. My next story will maybe come out at the end of the week. School starts tomorrow and I have an AP class so I might not be able to update often but hang in there!**

**~Z**

* * *

Deryn has gotten better but there are instances where she does try to strangle and/or maim me. At first it was hard to even have a conversation with her without her yelling or trying to throw things at me. Even though they had her arms bound she could still flick her wrist. It has been months since she has returned. Slowly things got better. She focuses on drawing to distract herself. Newkirk and Lilit visit her as well. She loves Bovril like he is her little brother. Jaspert comes to talk to her to fill in the parts of her memory that are disoriented. Things are almost normal. But not the way I wanted them to be.

We were planning the assassination of President Telsa but my doctors say that I'm not mentally sound enough to go. I pleaded with them but they just said the same thing that I wouldn't be able to do it safely. I would be a danger to myself and to everyone around me. I have to stay back and watch the action. I wanted to be the one to assassinate him. I told them all.

I'm on my way to visit Deryn. She is past the point of throwing knives at me. If I am out of her reach then I'm safe. I knock on the door.

"It's open." she shouts.

I open the door to see her sitting in her bed with a big sketch pad. Even though District 13 hates to waste things the doctors managed to find her some sketch pads and pencils. They say drawing helps her recover. Every time I see her drawing she looks so peaceful and concentrated. Like the old Deryn.

"Mind I ask what you are drawing?" I ask her.

"Something," she mumbles pouring all her attention on her paper.

I sneak a peek over her shoulder but she moves the paper away from my view. "Not yet." she says.

Her blue eyes are glistening exactly the way they did before. Her hair has grown out but she keeps it tied on the side of her head. She doesn't look like a skeleton anymore.

I shake my head. "Then when can I see it?" I tell her. I sit on the foot of her bed.

"When I say you can." she says.

"So in other words-"

"Never," she smiles. Her smile disappears and she sets her book down. She looks at me. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can Deryn."

"You never tried to kill me, true?" she asks.

"True, I never did. Fitzroy on the other hand has attempted but I would stop him." It was true. In the arena I made sure she was safe. I never let her out of my sight.

"You must really do love me. True?"

"One-hundred percent true." I smile.

It has been one year since Telsa was assassinated. President Hobbes is the new president of Panem and he has abolished the War Games. There are no more Peacekeepers. No more training for the games. No more misery. And finally no more living in fear.

Newkirk went back to District 10 and is in the running for Mayor. Lilit has gone back to District 11 to establish a better police force. District 11 in fact is probably the safest of the districts. Jaspert is in the Capitol serving as a senator. None of us thought he would make it. Deryn was maybe his biggest doubter. Bovril went back to District 2 to set up a successful hospital. Volger and Mr. Rigby run the training for police officers in District 11. The people of District 13 were freed but they preferred the safety of the underground city.

As for Deryn and I we're together. We got married and chose to live in District 7 which is beautiful with its lush forests. We built a house in the woods near a pond. We decided to live off the land. She loves swinging from the trees and she still draws. I always tell her she needs to be careful but she just ignores me and tells me that she won't hurt herself. I still don't believe that's true.

The hallucinations of hers come and go but as long as I am with her they fade away. She doesn't try to hurt me anymore mainly she just yells at me. I always try to calm down and she does most of the time. She gets her anger out by either chopping trees or by hunting. Mainly she draws and her artwork is everywhere.

It took a lot of convincing but we had children. Our first was a girl with auburn hair and bright blue eyes we named her Sophie after my mother. Our second child was born a few years after Sophie he had his mother's bright blond hair and my green eyes we named him Artemis after Deryn's father. Sophie is just like her mother. They swing from trees, practice throwing knives and cause mischief everywhere. She is just a younger version of Deryn.

Artemis on the other hand acts just like me. We read and sometimes I teach him fencing, he adores to fence while Sophie just throws the sabre on the ground and surrenders. I teach him philosophy, how to write poems, and how to defend against his sister's attacks. They're our children who may not be perfect but Deryn and I love them unconditionally.

With the War Games over we don't have to stay up thinking about the Reaping and watching innocent children being taken away from their families. We never have to watch parents cry and scream for their children. We never have to watch children die in brutal bloodbaths. Most importantly we can say a fact that Sophie and Artemis will never be taken away from us.

Our friends will visit us from time to time. As the years go on they visit us less often. Deryn and I are in our late thirties while our children are adults themselves. Sophie left to District 11 to be a Chief Police officer just like Lilit. As for Artemis he is in the Capitol working as a senator just like Jaspert. We visit them from time to time and sometimes they come home. Sometimes it causes bad memories to be in the Capitol again but as long as Deryn and I have each other everything is alright.

Volger and Mr. Rigby passed away a few years later. I never really did like Volger but he did at least deserve my respect. Deryn couldn't bring herself to look at Mr. Rigby's grave. Volger and Mr. Rigby died together in a gas explosion. All of our friends came to pay their respects. Jaspert came with his wife and their adult son. Lilit came alone, she preferred to be alone. Artemis and Sophie came together. Newkirk who retired from being Mayor came and put bouquets on both of their graves. I held Deryn while she cried. Artemis and Sophie did the same.

Volger may not have been my favorite person in the world but he did have my respect. He did train me well enough to make it through the games. He did get Deryn out of the Capitol. And he was like a grandfather to Artemis and Sophie. He played with them and taught them valuable lessons. They always loved him like he was family. And maybe I should have too.

As the years went by I never truly forgot about the nightmares. And I know Deryn hasn't either. We aren't the only ones. Our children can never really understand what happened. I hope they never will have to understand. I would never want them to endure our terrors. I never want them to experience the terrible, gruesome bloodbath that we had to compete in. Deryn wakes up screaming in the night but I am there to calm her down and tell her that everything is okay.

Now we sit on the porch of our house in our late forties. We hold hands as I read and as she draws. I sneak a glance at her. Her blond hair is starting to gray and her eyes are losing their fire but she still looks as beautiful as ever.

She looks at me from the corner of her eye and smiles. "What are you looking at Alek?" she says.

"You." I say simply and kiss her gently on the forehead.

"Such a sweet one." she says. Her smile fades and she puts her book down. "If you had to do this all over again, would you?" she asks.

I think to myself for a second and think about all the things that have happened. Sure there were a lot of instances where I wanted to go back in time but it was because of those instances that I met Deryn. If the War Games had never of happened then I wouldn't be here with Deryn.

I grab both her hands and look her straight in the eyes. "Of course I would."

* * *

**IT IS DONE. Yeah I know a bit cheesy but it's an ending. So deal with it. Might start the next story and put it up and I might just upload every week.**

**The next story will be humor and maybe some drama. Not much romance, unless there is a request. O.O**

**Well I am done here so PEACE OUT MY HOMIES!**

**~Z**


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